oil slick curls slip down your cheeks
melting away a memory of you I imagined once
in a daydream
your fingers are burnt matchsticks,
thin charcoal twigs that splinter against my skin
and mine against yours
as we both hold onto something that isn’t there
thin air between two burnt carcasses
we had our run
we burned like oil on water
flames gracing the sun with our warmth
but, oh, things that burn
they also die
two girls on fire drowned
a blaze left swallowing unspoken words
standing together, we are a pair of dying embers,
and I do not feel the twinge of regret
of what-could-have-beens burning holes into my hands
we remain, and I allow myself to be
consumed
I absolutely adore this poem. The message that you are trying to get across is there, but at the same time it's not super direct, which I really like. Your imagery is vivid and it overall just feels good to read.
ReplyDeleteThis is an amazing poem. Your imagery is awesome and really describes how you are feeling without just telling.
ReplyDeleteI think this poem is very vivid and there is a lot of imagery. The image attached fits well. As Kylie mentioned above, it puts into play a showing mechanism rather than just telling what is happening.
ReplyDeleteThe language in this poem is amazing and I really liked the line "what-could-have-beens burning holes in my hands".
ReplyDeleteI think it's interesting how the fire in the poem symbolizes giving in to the Tao, like failing in order to succeed or pushing your fingers into a Chinese finger trap to get them out. Also the term "Tao" or "Dao" wasn't directly stated which made the poem all the more spiritual or like intangible.
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